A subtitle might read, “The Cynical and Stoic Philosophy of Skateboarding.” It might have. On Friday evening, May 18, 2012, several rail-slides were executed at the base of the Zeno of Citium statue in Larnaka, Cyprus. I nodded my head in approval upon seeing these (even though the skaters did not at all require my approval). Zeno (344-266BCE) hailed from the ancient city of Citium which is just north of present-day Cyprus. He has been publicly memorialized, a statue put up who-knows-how-long-ago (working on this) in Larnaka. Today, skate-boarders perform ollie impossibles near and rail-slides on (among other sweet moves) the immortalized Zeno. Below is rather grainy footage of a couple sweet rail slides. Skate or die, Zeno.